I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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