I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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