Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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