omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
smell my finger.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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