i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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