Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This girl is more easily done than said...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
