How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
