Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I want to fling myself into the sun
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
