The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
