The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
