batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
