Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
