Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
