YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
