Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
