I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
