butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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