What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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