Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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