Nicole vs. Life
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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