I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
