ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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