hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
