# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
