This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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