party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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