dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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