I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
