def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
