Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
