careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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