what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
