Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize