508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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