just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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