If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
BRING THE BAGELS
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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