i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
