Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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