party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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