I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
