see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
