So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
