thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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