So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
