I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
