When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
