The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
