Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize