can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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