You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
