So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
