They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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