ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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