You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
