I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
