Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
