life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
